August,
2003
"Get Rid of the Rocks"
This morning as I was pulling the carton of eggs out of the fridge to prepare my breakfast, my mind flashed back to the incident I observed in the store the day I purchased the eggs.
I was standing behind a man and a woman, a married couple, waiting for access to the egg section of the refrigerator cases. (You know the one – they put it back in the corner of the store as far from the other essentials as possible.)
This couple was shopping together. And from the looks of their basket, they were just about finished. From the tone of voice they used on each other, it was pretty clear that it had not been a pleasant trip to the grocery store.
The argument they were having was over the size of eggs they were going to buy. She wanted large and he was looking at the X-large eggs. He finally put the carton of X-large eggs in their basket as she walked off in a huff.
At first I thought there must be a big price difference or something significant between the two kinds of eggs in order for it to cause this argument. So as they left I checked the prices and there was only a difference of 10 cents more per carton for the X-large. I guess that could be considered a bargain – lots more egg for only a dime more. But – surely it wasn’t worth fighting over.
So, this morning as I was thinking back to this couple and the “egg incident” I wondered if the exchange between them that I observed in the store mirrors the rest of their life together. How sad for them, if that is true.
Then God reminded me of the many times in my own life where I have done the same thing – argued over insignificant issues. I felt the sorrow it brought and began to repent over similar instances when I have gotten upset or felt “out of control” when my choices or wishes were not honored. When I just had to be the one who was right. When I criticized, nagged and nit-picked over things that made absolutely no difference minutes or hours later – much less for eternity.
How ridiculous I must have looked to God and to others – to let strife and anger in my life and relationships in such a childish and selfish way. I know I have been guilty of this in my own marriage and toward my children as well as toward others with whom I am in relationship.
I wanted to say to that couple, “Oh, my gosh! This isn’t going to even matter after the eggs are home and eaten.” And yet their hearts toward one another, if left unconfessed and unforgiving will continue to be hardened. And it will matter. And without the grace and forgiveness of God, the “egg incident” – really of no earthy importance at all – will turn into something with eternal consequences and regrets.
Isn’t that just like the enemy? To use the little sins, the little selfish desires, the little issues of pride, control and anger to build up high walls in our hearts and relationships. The walls block God’s life and love from flowing into us, through us and out of us. And the walls keep us hidden from others in our life. We think they are protecting us from pain, when in reality they end up causing more pain and hurt to ourselves and to others.
I can just imagine the mental conversation this man and woman were having with themselves as they stood in the checkout line.
SHE: “He always gets his way…thinking he is the boss. I am never taking him shopping again. If he thinks he knows best, then he can just go by himself. It always turns out this way, no matter where we go, he always makes it unpleasant. Just like the other day when he………..”
HE: “What is her problem? She asked for help and here I am and now she is arguing with me about everything we buy. I can’t ever do it right. Well, that is just typical of everything I do anyway. She always second guesses me – always knows better, has a different way to do things. We never agree on anything any more. What’s the point? This just isn’t fun anymore…….”
Does this sound at all familiar? Do you ever feel yourself getting caught up in a cycle like that? When there are lots of issues and wounds and hurts from the past that haven’t been forgiven and healed and dealt with - with God and the person – it is easy for them to build and grow and multiply.
And of course, Satan’s plan is for this negative cycle to spiral into separation and division – of the person from God and then, from the relationship.
I call this process - “keeping score.” We all tend to do it, unless we have learned how to let it go to God and act in His love. For in 1 Corinthians 13 it talks about keeping no record of wrongs as one of the expressions of love.
Imagine a bucket and into it you have put a rock for every offense you have ever received from a person. Here you are, lugging this thing around life. The more full it gets, the heavier it gets. Of course, you are going to be angry when that person puts one more rock of offense in your bucket, because the weight and pain of it seem to multiply with each new situation.
So, sometimes we get to the end of ourselves and take the rocks out and throw them back at the person. Or we use them to build walls or to dam up the flow of life from our hearts. And then other times we just carry them around - getting more and more weary, discouraged and depressed - feeling hurt and rejected. This seems to create situations where we end up going around hurting and rejecting others.
Do you see yourself in this place? Do you have your own unresolved “egg incidents”? Are you getting tired of building walls and dams? Tired of carrying around the heavy load? Feeling badly for the rocks that you have thrown at others in what you thought was self-protection?
What can you do with your rocks – these hurts and offenses? Well there is a place you can go and someone who will gladly take them from you. Jesus desires for you to come to Him and one rock at a time, empty your bucket at His feet.
With each rock, with each emptying and giving over, acknowledge the offense. Experience the hurt. Confess your part in the situation. Confess your sin of not forgiving the offense. Then forgive the person for their part of the offense against you. Ask God to forgive you. Give it all over to God – the actions, the offense, the emotions as well as the root causes.
Renounce the enemy and close the door to him. That door was opened by your unforgiveness or unbelief or by believing a lie. Break off any hold he has on you. Take back the legal ground you gave to him because of your agreement with him in sin and with his lies.
Our struggle is not with other people in our lives, but it is against our own fleshly temptations and lusts, which are tools in the hands of the enemy. So remember to put on the full armor of God as it says in Ephesians.
Ephesians 6
11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.
Bless and pray for the one who offended you. And bless yourself. Read God’s word and fill your heart with His gifts to you. Speak His love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, hope, kindness, righteousness, health, healing and comfort into your life.
Meditate on how God sees you – as His special, chosen one. He has drawn you out of the pit and cleansed you with the waters of His love. He loved you even while you were a sinner and He proved it by laying down his life for you. Nothing can separate you from His love.
Will you let him help you empty your bucket? Our Father wants to heal you and set you free. Trust Him.
The next time you are hurt or wounded or angry or experience negative emotions, ask yourself, “Is this going to matter in eternity?” Go to God right away. Don’t put it in your bucket - give it to God by following these steps we just went through.
Remember what really matters is this – to love God and to love one another.
Ephesians 4:3
Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.
Romans 12:18
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
Jude 1:2
Mercy, peace and love be yours in abundance.
2 Corinthians 13:11
Finally, brothers, goodby. Aim for perfection, listen to my appeal, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you.
I L.O.V.E. you,
Patty
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